How to Find Yourself in a Confusing World

It’s hard to understand what we truly want and what our mission in life is in today’s world.

From an evolutionary point of view, we were not designed to live in the modern environment. Social media creates the illusion that everyone is happy, successful, and has already “found themselves” — and that only you are left behind.

At the same time, we now have an overwhelming number of choices: in relationships, careers, lifestyles. Paradoxically, too many choices often stop us from making any choice at all.

So let me say this clearly:
It’s completely okay if you haven’t found yourself or your mission yet.

Below are some practical tactics that can help.

1. Understand what you don’t want

You have many desires.
Some come from your parents.
Some from society.
Some from friends or social pressure.

The first step is to separate your desires from those that were imposed on you.

When a goal is truly yours, imagining it usually creates emotion:
excitement, energy, curiosity — sometimes even a little fear.

If you feel nothing, or the emotion is very weak, the goal is probably not yours.

Important note: this works only when you are rested.
If you haven’t slept for two days, you won’t feel motivation — only exhaustion.

2. How to make a decision when you feel stuck

Sometimes you can’t choose, but you still need to decide.

Here’s a simple method:

• Gather as much relevant information as you can.

• Load your brain with facts and reality.

• Then stop. Take a walk. Create distance.

Your brain continues working in the background and often delivers a clear solution when you’re relaxed.

3. Ask yourself the right questions

Ask honestly:

• What is my current job?

• What can I do better than others?

• What skills do I already have, even small ones?

• What opportunities are available to me right now?

• What can I realistically do next?

These questions help you move from confusion to action.

4. Look at your past and your present

• What did you enjoy as a child?
  Sports, dancing, building things, collecting objects — these often point to natural inclinations.

• What do you enjoy most in your current work?
  Helping people? Solving complex problems? Leading others?
  This shows what needs motivate you.

Mastery matters.
Spending years (often called the “10,000-hour rule”) developing a skill turns uncertainty into confidence.

Skill + motivation + long-term practice = direction.

5. Don’t let fear decide for you

Many opportunities are lost not because we aren’t capable, but because we’re afraid:

• Fear of responsibility

• Fear of failure

• Fear of commitment (career, marriage, family)

Focus on goals, not fear.
A wrong step is not a disaster — it’s feedback.

The right community and environment make this journey much easier.

6. Energy is the foundation of everything

When you have no energy, you can’t think, decide, or act.

For physical energy:

• Sleep

• Exercise

• Healthy food

For mental energy:

• Reduce social media

• Limit gaming and endless streaming

Protect your attention. It’s your most valuable resource.

7. Use “what I don’t want” as a compass

Ask yourself:

• I don’t want to be unhealthy → get medical checkups, move regularly, eat better, remove harmful habits.

• I don’t want to be lonely → learn how to build real, healthy relationships.

• I don’t want to be broke → learn skills like investing, sales, or another high-value skill.

These alone are already meaningful life tasks.

You don’t need to figure out your entire life at once.
You just need to take the next honest step.